As my vacation comes to an end, my sisters and I decided to take ALL of our 10 KIDS, under the age of 5, to the movies. The movie theater is just up the street from the beach we were staying at, so, it was a quick trip for the afternoon. We crammed all the little chickens in 2 cars and drove up to the theater. Let the adventure begin. And, Yes, we are crazy.
We arrived 30 minutes before the matinee screening. It was a miracle that we were early and an even bigger miracle that we arrived 30 minutes before. The idea behind all this was that we would get the best seats, quick food service and have all the kids settled in before the movie begun. No!! When we arrived at the theater it was still closed, it was freezing cold and 5 of the 10 kids had to pee.
The theater employee rolled up to the theater at 11:55! 5 minutes before our movie was to begin. The minute she turned the key, the kids bulldozed through the doors. The ones that had to 'go' went and the leftovers ran straight to the candy shelf. There was no food prepared and everything was grossly over priced. More so, than normal theaters.
After I spent my life savings on lunch, we continued to find our seats. Luckily, we were the first ones in the theater, so we snagged the best seats in the house.
I settled into my seat with my youngest son and waited for the movie to roll. He was sipping on sweat, ice tea taking in the movie experience. He was as happy as could be.
This is when disaster hit. The minute the lights went out and the movie came on. My son freaked out. he resembled a fog horn in the mist of the movie theater crowd. I quickly excused myself from the theater. Not only because he sounded like a baby Pterodactyl but because I was so, so embarrassed.
We sat outside, just peeking through the movie theater door for about 15 minutes. The movie attendant had the audacity to walk over to me and Foghorn and tell me that the million pretzels and hot dogs, we had ordered, were finally ready. I didn't want to go back into the movie with Sir Groucho, but I was ready to enter the battle field once again. I picked up 8 hotdogs, 5 pretzels and a 21 month old and begin the movie theater waddle. It's when a person morphs into Egor from Frankenstein., you know the waddle. My goal was not to obstruct anybodies view. (Not likely). In no time, the Foghorn went off again and I threw the food at my sister and ran for the hills. I couldn't believe Sir Groucho would not subside to soda, candy, hotdogs or just plain bribery. I had it up to my forehead. I went back into the movie, walked up to my sister and asked her for a Binky. Which, by the way had fallen under the seats. So with Pterodactyl in my arms, I crawled under the seats looking for the stupid Binky. Finally I found it, grabbed a wet wipe and plugged the Foghorn. I continued to go stand in the farthest, darkest corner in the theater with Sir Groucho. It only took a minute before I heard the sweet sounds of snoring. I think that is every mothers favorite sound. I felt like the audience started to clap for me because I had won the battle against the evil Sir Groucho-Foghorn-Pterodactyl Monster. But I think that was only in my mind.
The minute I sat down to enjoy a sip of soda and a Junior Mint. The lights came on and the movie was over.
I just love my, Sir Groucho-Foghorn-Pterodactyl-Monster.
Needless to say, he slept for another 3 hours. He needed it. I took full advantage of his exhaustion and joined him for a little shut eye.
By the way, The bits I did see of the movie were quite hilarious! Lipstick Tazer!! Despicable Me 2 is a must see.
Ce la vie
-G
No comments:
Post a Comment